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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • Lemmy is small and still somewhat insular, so certain topics tend to get more content than others. You can solve that issue by blocking what you don’t want to see (by community or by user), and most importantly: participate by posting content yourself.

    We don’t have anywhere near the amount of users that you can treat this place entirely like reddit and just expect the content to just come to you.

    Edit: Also, if you don’t like how a community is run here, there’s most lilely another version of it on another instance with different community mods. There’s a ton of “ask lemmy” communities out there if you don’t like lemmy.ml’s moderation style.

    The tradeoff for no ads and no corporate incentives is that you have to put in just a little bit more personal effort to curate the experience you want.





  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml21F... am I crazy over jealousy?
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    22 days ago

    Sorry, not going to mince words: That’s hypocritical as fuck. You can ask him to keep it private (off instagram or other social media), but you get off to other men too.

    How would you feel if he told you that made him sick to his stomach?

    You can’t just handwave this away as “lol idk why I feel this way, but it’s his problem to deal with!” No. Stop. Bad. Don’t make me get the spray bottle or the rolled up newspaper.

    This is something about yourself and your own feelings that you need to sort out, for yourself. I don’t mean “just get over it, lol”. I mean that you need to figure out why you feel this way. If you bring it up to him, you need to have specific actions he can take to assuage your feelings. You need to decide how important this is to you, and accept that it may be a dealbreaker for you or for him. And most of all, you can’t be a hypocrite about whatever you ask of him.

    So far, he’s not done anything disrespectful to you, because you haven’t communicated your wants about this to him. I would feel uncomfortable about hearing that my partner was DM’ing a thirst catcher especially while dating, but as you say: he stopped when you two got together.

    Honestly, it sounds like you’ve got a lot of yourself to sort out for yourself. Don’t feel bad about it, that’s super normal for your age especially, and normal for almost any age. Figuring out why you feel certain ways, deciding if it’s reasonable or not, if things are a want or a need. But try to work on figuring yourself out for your sake. It’s a lot easier to have a relationship when you know yourself well, your own problems, and your own needs.



  • My wife struggles with that second one a lot and I wish I knew how to help her.

    Ramble

    She’s built up this golden fantasy of her childhood and where she’s from, and she blames so much of what I file away as “normal life bs” on where we live now. Every time we visit her hometown I see the same problems there that she blames on where we live.

    She has a hard time seeing the benefits of where we live now because she grew up in a tight knit extended family that closed the gaps so to speak. But that extended family has drifted apart. People have grown up. The old matriarchs and patriarchs have passed. That same tight knit family doesn’t exist anymore in the way it used to.

    She basically had a high quality, premade social group and support structure just handed to her growing up. She moved states and life events kept getting in the way of her building a new one. But she blames that on location rather than what is now a lack of effort. Issues she overlooked long ago (and still) with family are things she can’t let go of when faced with them in potential friends.

    And ultimately, the loss of these things just brings her sadness and depression. She’s not in a state where she’s interested in trying to make it work beyond saying she wants to verbally. Pretty textbook depression but there’s complications right now in the way of her seeking help.

    Apologies for the ramble/off my chest shit.


  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlPassword Managers
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    1 month ago

    Unfortunately LastPass had some issues over the past years with hacking where encrypted vaults were stolen. Between myself and my friends in tech, I know of a few conpanies that ditched it after that.

    For individual/personal use, I’d reccomend KeePass (whatever fork of it is up to date and maintained lately) and using somethung like syncthing to sync it across devices. That may not be super user friendly for non-technical users though, and I’m not sure how well it works with iPhones.


  • This really comes across as if you just keep shifting so that you can continue finding something to complain about. It’s ok to just not like having your camera on man. Not everything has to be the kicking off point for a sociological or anthropological study.

    Backgrounds visible? It forces you to have your space display worthy!

    Backgrounds blurred? Everyone knows your place isn’t display worthy and thinks you’re a disgusting pig!

    Company provided background images? Corporate endorsed removal of individualism!


    What you’ve touched on here is part of the intent. Not that they want to erase individuals, but that in general a more controlled corporate image is seen as more professional.

    If you want to talk about how/why that’s a thing, be my guest, but that has nothing to do with video conferencing. Work dress code and even work uniforms have existed for generations.